Dani California The Ballad of Artemis
by Ethereal Void
Summary: Apollo, aka David is a just turned 18 anime freak. But what happens when the girl of his, and every other anime geek's, dreams turns out to be an real anime character? M for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I don't own FMA, so don't say I do. WAH!!!!!!!

**A/N:** Most of the characters I made are based on people I have known, and some I know now, (grumble) even if they did stiff me on the animeboston thing..., ANY WAY. I had so much fun at AnimeBoston as Sexy No Jitsu, that I decided to write a story on one of the comments I got. Some one said I looked like an- no, save it for the story. Now, I know this is under FMA, but the beginning has a lot of Naruto. Please put up with it, because the main plot is involved with On with it!

"ALRIGHT! FINE!" I shouted at my friends. Rolling my eyes, I took out my camera.

Forgive me, I haven't introduced myself. My name is Apollo Cyrus Cane. My parents are friggin hippies, so I got the weird name. In third grade, I got called "hey" by the teacher so much, I told her to just call me David. So it has been since then. I am now 18, and on my 5th year of anime-ness. I am pretty good looking, but I have trouble talking to pretty girls. I have a group of mostly hentai friends who are, needless to say, estatic that we are 18. No props guessing why.

Moving back to the story, my friends were in the middle of hounding me to take out my camera, so as to capture "beautiful cosplaying girls in their full beauty!" And that is a direct quote. -- Look, not to be mean, but most girls here are geeks trying to be like anime characters, and the result can be nothing short of scary. Most don't even have the face for this, let alone the anime-woman body. Some have been hitting the donuts, if you know what I mean. But they wouldn't stop holding out this hope that a few girls would get the costumes right. Huh, yeah, I'm sure. My motley crew was dressed as the Akatsuki, minus my pal, Cody, the most perverted of them all, was Jiraiya, complete with a "Free Breast Exam" sign. My best buddy was Ian, my partner in crime, was Sasori. I was Itachi. Every one thought my black hair was fit for the part.

"Look, one of them is bound to show up." Cody said eagerly.

"Yeah, right, I'm so sure, Mister Ero-Sennin." Stephen, as Tobi, was cool and in character, like the rest of us. "You are not going to get any material for your new book today." A Kakashi came up to Cody and made a great show of asking to "study" with the great Sannin. Cody took it like Jiraiya would, with much "humblness" and "diginity."

"Yes, but such great work requires DISIPLINE!" Cody said with a thumbs up. He looked towards the great beyond (aka behind me) and his jaw nearly dropped. I was thinking what great character he was doing until he whispered, "Holy jammalamma..."

"What? Ero-Sennin, have you lost your mind?!" James, who was playing Hidan looked in that direction and had the same reaction.

"You've all gone crazy." I shook my head. By this time the rest of the male population was staring behind me as if every good looking anime girl had landed in the convention center. Ian forced me to turn and I saw her.

She was striding into the hall, every hentai/anime geek's wet dream. Golden hair, held up in high volumous ponytails, swung by her arms. She was dressed in fishnets, combat boots, the tiniest shorts I have ever seen, a black bandeau and a Naruto jacket. The three marks on each cheek marked her as a Sexy No Jitsu cosplayer. She laughed, that's right, just LAUGHED at all the men staring at her. I tell you, if this was really an anime, then this place would be drowning in blood by now. I even saw a few guys on the side lines turn sideways. Us in Guy-World know what that means. One brave man approached her.

"M-may-may-may I...take your picture?" he said shakily. She smiled at him. The man nearly vaporized on the spot.

"Sure. Let me pose." She arched her back, brought in a knee and blew a kiss for the camera. It suddenly became a huge photo shoot. There was so much snapping of pictures that I thought I'd go epileptic. She changed her pose, opting for a legs spread, turn-to-kiss sort of thing. Eventually she ran out for ideas for standing, so what did that girl do? She sat and posed, whipping off the jacket. She ran out of poses there too. I don't think any of us could believe it when she started to writhe on that floor. She was sex on a dish! As she moved around to the beat of the music from a nearby exibition, I thought how right my friend Cody was. This woman...she embodied Sexy No Jitsu perfectly. But there was something about her that made me think of another anime. Her face and hair...it was familiar in the weirdest way. Before long, I had moved in close to get beautiful shots of that gorgeous body.

Finally, she laughed, saying, "Okay, boys, I have to get going. My ride is coming." There was an audible groan from the crowd. She laughed again. "I'm sorry. Can some one hand me my jacket?" The jacket miraculously slid over to her. She slung it on her shoulder and struggled to get up. In a gesture that even surprized me, I stood and offered my hand to her. She smiled AT ME and took my hands. She was really light, and it only took a little pull from me to get her upright. "Thanks. You're really cute...consider this my thank you." With that, she leaned in and kissed me. It was a really simple and quick kiss, but I think every guy in there caught a picture of it. No doubt some losers would Photoshop the pic so it looked like they were kissing that angel instead of me. When she pulled back I was blushing so hard. "See you around, Itachi. And I thought you were emotionless, silly me!" With one last wink and kiss, she sauntered away, a sex goddess.

"DUDE! You are such a player!" Ian clapped me on the shoulder, hard.

"Yeah, RIGHT! The man has had only, what, two girlfriends?" Stephen butted in.

"Shut up. Who was the one who just got kissed by the hottest girl at AnimeBoston? Oh yeah, it was David." James rolled his eyes.

"Itachi, you mean. We're supposed to be in character! Yeah!" Paul interrupted. He was Deidara, and how fitting. He was irritating as hell.

They burst into argument about my love life. "LOOK!" I screamed, cutting them off. "I'm going home. This was an awesome convention, see you at classes tomorrow." I sighed and walked away as my group muttered about why I was so irritable.

I stopped at some of the vendors on my way out and as I walked out the front, I saw her again! She was out of costume now, wearing a pink top and khaki capris, with an Al cap on. Needless to say, her hair was down to her waist, and it was the most awesome thing I had ever seen. I tried to walk by unoticed, but she spotted me.

"Hey," I turned, petrified.

"Um...hi."

"Still shocked from that kiss?"

"Uh..."

She laughed, "That's okay. I have gotten that for the last 3 days." Her cellphone rung with "Rooftops" by The Lost Prophets. I love that song. She picked up. "Hey!...yeah, I'm there. Why?...WHAT?! Oh GOD! No...alright, I'll be okay. I just hope they don't take chase...yeah, bye." She snapped her cellphone shut. "Damn!"

"What's wrong?"

"Oh, just my ride. He wrapped his car around a tree, the idiot, and now I have no ride." She gently touched her Al cap.

I stood there, considering for a second. "I...I could give you a ride?" I said, regreting it as soon as the words were out of my mouth. I didn't even know the girl's name, let alone where she lived.

"Really?!" She looked so eager that I couldn't correct myself.

"Yeah."

"Oh, thank you thank you thank you THANK YOU! Where's your car?" What could I do? She picked up her bags and I led her to my car.

"So, where should I take you?"

"Where ever you are going. I'm working my way around, you know?" She said with a beautific grin.

"Okay then..." I turned on the radio and drove off.

"Mind if I pop in a CD?" She asked. "Man I love CDs, they are awesome!"

She was so open and sweet I laughed and she giggled with me. "Sure."

"Cool!" She dug around in one of her bags and resurfaced with a shiny unlabeled CD. "I had my pal burn this for me. It is the first band I've really taken to since my arrival."

"Arrival? You a foreigner?"

"Something like that." She stuck in the CD and the Red Hot Chili Peppers blared from the speakers.

"You're a RHCP fan?!"

"You bet!" I cranked up the sound and we headbanged to "Dani California." "Man, it feels good to be away from my life!"

"Why?"

"Oh, just that my parents friends are bugging my rents about me getting married."

That shocked me. "You're getting MARRIED?!"

"No!" She laughed again. It seemed a common habit for her. I was struck again how familiar she looked. Where had I seen her face before? "No, but they think I should, to tame my 'wild nature.' They suck."

"Jesus, don't they have lives of their own?"

"Apparently not. Any way, they already know I'm a dog of the military now, and could die at any minute. Not a good choice for a bride. Mother says I should go into her business, but I love what I do, and I just hate when procedures take longer than a few seconds." I was pretty lost within her speech. She was a soldier? "My dad actually likes it that I am in my field. He was in it too, but he was more of a battle guy than a medic. My uncle was also one like my dad, but he's cooler! He's the one who got me here. Though Daddy came along for the ride." The pretty girl's cellphone rang again. This time, the song was "High School Never Ends" by Bowling for Soup. "Yeah...NO! Oh my God...you're sure? How far are they going?...okay. No, I'll be fine. JEEZ DAD! I'll be fine! You go back through. I'll get your brother out with me...bye." She let the phone close. "Um, could we go any faster? We need to get out of the Boston range within the next few minutes."

"What is the rush?"

"...You sure you can handle the truth?"

"Don't tell me you are a bank robber," I said jokingly. She giggled a little, but went straight back to her game face.

She flashed a Full Metal Alchemist watch. "My name is Artemis, code Budding Flower Alchemist, medic, daughter of Alphonse and Winry Elric."

Oh. That was why she looked familiar.

**Oh, what NOW?! Don't you hate cliffies? Review for more!**


	2. WARNING

**DILEMMA DILEMMA DILEMMA!!!!!!!! I have officially come to a grinding halt!!!! I want you guys to vote: Elricest or no. If you can stand a little spoilers, you can send me a PM and I will tell you the advantages and disadvatages. However, if no one responds to this within the weekend, I will remove the story, 'kay?**

**Viviane**


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